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Ordering Our Conversation

 



Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29

Dear Friends, let me tell you there is power in our words. Our words can build or destroy others. Words once spoken can never be taken back. Later, we might regret what we spoke , but to the person who heard it, especially if they are our dear ones,  the hurt and the effect of the words will remain for a long time and sometimes will never fade from their heart and mind. This could even lead to a break in relationships inside the family.

We read in the Bible James 3:8-10- that no man can tame the tongue. Out of the same mouth comes blessing and cursing. This should not be so. We need to guard our mouth from speaking evil of others, gossiping and grumbling. Whatever comes out of our mouth proceeds from our heart. If we harbor evil thoughts which are against the commandments of God, we will speak out the same. If we meditate on whatever is pure, honorable and trustworthy, we will speak peace and goodness to others. 

How do we try to order our conversations aright? It is not at all easy as we all know.  First step is for  us to consciously make an effort and determine to speak the right things. Recently I came across (a  sort of slang acronym) which could help us to focus on choosing our words before speaking aloud.

T.H.I.N.K

TRUE

HELPFUL

INSPIRING

NECESSARY

KIND

TRUE:  Let us always strive to speak the truth. That does not mean we can speak the truth bluntly in a way which would cause distress.  In some situations, speaking the truth may cause more harm than good. In that case, it is better to keep quiet and not speak at all. If we are to speak the truth to correct someone, we need to confront the person in love and speak in a manner which shows that we are correcting them because of our love for them, and not because we wish to hurt or criticize them. We need to pray and ask God for wisdom to know when to talk and when to keep quiet.

HELPFUL:  Let our words be helpful to others. When we come across someone going through a difficult season, let us not add to their worries by exaggerating the situation, and stating all the negative aspects. Instead, let us offer any help or assistance within our limits or seek advice from others who might have gone through a similar situation, and can help to assist.

INSPIRING:  Let us speak to inspire others, to encourage and build others up and not to discourage or bring them down. Let us speak positive words, to motivate others, see the good in them and help to bring out the best in them.

NECESSARY: Let us try to speak only when necessary. In some cases, we cause more distress by speaking out of place. In certain situations, we do not have the right words to offer comfort.  In such situations, the best help we can offer a friend who is going through a tough time, is to just sit with them and let them know you are there to offer support and encouragement.

KIND: Let us always be kind to one another. It is easy to speak words in anger or retaliation which comes out automatically without thinking. But this would lead only to more trouble and heart break.  Most of the time whenever a person slashes out in anger, there is often an underlying reason which comes out in frustration and rage. If we respond in kindness, we can help to subdue the anger and bring calmness.  Let us use words of comfort and kindness in our conversations to bring peace and joy to others and not humiliation, rejection or disappointments.

So, dear friends, from today let us make a decision to order our conversations wisely and as written in Philippians 4:8-

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Comments

Eliza.Tkt said…
Very true. In my case, I have a habit of talking without thinking, which might lead to misinterpretations and misunderstandings. I keep reminding myself that I should control my words, but am not able to many times.

Your suggestion is interesting and looks like a way to correct myself. Thank you for your inspiring words and advice.
Anna Alex said…
Thank you for your feedback. You are not alone. Most of us face problems with the words we speak.